Minimalism: Live a Meaningful Life by Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus

Author:Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus [Millburn, Joshua Fields & Nicodemus, Ryan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Minimalism, Non-Fiction, Psychology, Reference, Self-Help
ISBN: 9780615648224
Google: 9K16MAEACAAJ
Amazon: 0615648223
Publisher: Asymmetrical Press
Published: 2011-12-08T00:00:00+00:00

A note about your secondary relationships: Your secondary relationships are important as well (vastly more important than your periphery relationships), but should only receive your time and attention once your commitment to your primary relationships is fulfilled. You must treat your primary relationships as your top priority. This might mean shifting one or two people from your secondary tier into your primary tier (or vice versa) if necessary.

Change Yourself, Not Others

You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the people around you.

Sometimes you have to get rid of certain relationships, even relationships of great value. Sometimes a person’s beliefs or values are radically different than yours. When this is the case it’s okay to terminate the relationship or at least change the terms of the relationship.

We all change over time. Sometimes we grow closer to certain people, sometimes we grow apart, sometimes we fall out of love, sometimes we change together. Just because someone has changed, doesn’t mean they don’t love you, it doesn’t mean they don’t care about you immensely; it just means they’ve changed.

Moreover, you cannot expect a person to change in every way you want them to change. Of course, some people make radical changes in their lives, but it is not your responsibility in any relationship to expect someone to change to adhere to your standards, beliefs, or values.

The only person you can change is yourself. When you change yourself—when you lead by example—often times the people closest to you will follow suit. If you change your diet, start exercising, start paying close attention to your important relationships, and set higher relationship standards, then you’ll notice other people doing the same thing. If the best version of you shows up to the party, you’ll be able to bring the best out of other people.

Unfortunately, there will be times when certain relationships don’t work—be it marriages, intimate relationships, close friendships, employee-boss relationships, relationships with family members, etc. The best thing you can do is change yourself (not attempt to change the other person). You don’t have to stay in a relationship if you are unhappy. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make an effort to get to the root of the relationship’s problems—it means that you can change the relationship if it is not working.

Before you change or terminate a relationship, you should get a vision of what you’d like it to look like in the future. The following sections discuss specific ideas on how to envision a new future for your relationships.

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